hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
