I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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