Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
