you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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