I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
