Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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