she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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