he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
