DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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