Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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