oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
