Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
