Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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