i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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