babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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