I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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