i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
