last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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