Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
