i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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