I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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