I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
