on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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