just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
