we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
