Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
