She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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