Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
