In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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