I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
