You're my little dorito
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize