Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My vagina is officially offended.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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