Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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