respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Alive.
So much puke
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
