He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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