i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
