totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
