i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
