idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize