how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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