Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
