well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize