He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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