I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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