Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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