So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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