I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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