Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize