god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
