whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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