but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
