he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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