how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize