The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
