It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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