Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
