one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize