chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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