Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
