Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
