i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
