Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
