Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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