So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
