I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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