I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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