i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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