It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
