there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
