You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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